Mindful Living for Nannies

Carefully Curated

Thoughts on a Few Weeks of Truly Mindful

Living to Help Nannies 

by Dr. Linda Karges-Bone

Life happens. Sometimes that little adage becomes more than a saying on a tote bag or travel mug. Sometimes, life throws each or all of us a curve ball and we find ourselves in situations which, at first, seem to be furiously repressive. We cannot go or do or be as we were before and it feels stifling. Until we let go. Until we give into the “carefully curated” life position, a mindful, meaningful state of being.

It has happened to me several times over the past few years. An accident on vacation resulting in a surgery and rehab period; a planned hip replacement; and moving my consulting business online during the Covid mess….and then a whole lotta twists and turns that only real life can trigger….all put me into a forced pause mode. My computer screen was frozen and I had to make a choice. I could get mad or sad or something else. I chose something else and that’s the story.

Once I was free of the anger and frustration of not being able to do and be as I had always done and been, I found joy in new ways….doing the same old things. It is a bizarre truth. The familiar became fresh once I allowed myself to “carefully curate” or experience and translate the experience with thought and insight.

Here are a few examples. As a busy Nanny, whose time is seldom one’s own, perhaps you can relate?

Coffee and the newspaper.

It is a daily routine. Ordinary. A task to be accomplished, until it becomes the gateway into a new day. Once I had more than enough time to savor the experience, to carefully curate it, things changed. I took time choosing my mug and thinking about the memories connected to the mug of choice. The mug given to me by teachers in West Virginia when I did their back to school retreat keynote….how were those folks? The mug designed by my daughters, covered with pictures of my infant grandbabies……Lord they are adorable! The mug I picked up at that cute hotel in the Caribbean….will we get back there again? And, mugs weren’t all. Simply savoring the coffee instead of swigging it down. Making toast with my homemade bread. Why not? The morning is mine.

Making real meals.

Once going out and about became undoable or risky and when we also began to take our health seriously, we began to plan and cook meals. Not just supper, but lunch too. Roasting a chicken became an event. It would sustain us for several meals and then become soup. Making the soup on the third day after the roasting of the bird became a holy event; a time to sacrifice all the little bags and dishes and pieces and parts from the refrigerator. One becomes so much less wasteful when it becomes a real challenge to go out and buy more celery. Carefully curating out meals so that they nourished body and spirit changed us for the better.

Writing notes.

I’ve always been a note writer. I love a charming note card and became known for my pithy remarks. But, when life plunged me into longer, enforced stays close to home, I churned out missives to everyone. Funny post cards to my girlfriends. Words of encouragement to my students. Loving notes to my daughters. Expressions of gratitude to clients. The process and product gave me a sense of accomplishment. And freedom.  I couldn’t go far but my carefully curated words defied time and space.

Outside As a State of Mind.

During these times of quarantine or recovery or re-discovery, depending on the season of my life, I found a renewed delight in simply being outside. When yoga and Pilates classes become verboten, I returned to long daily walks with my dog. Ok…the dog and the husband. He got to go along. I found myself becoming “that person” who took pictures of pretty flowers on the path or a cluster of turtles sunning themselves near the bridge….and posting the images on social media like I was a wildlife photographer for National Geographic. My husband thought it was hilarious. “You act like you’ve never seen a turtle before”, he chuckled. In a way, I hadn’t. Once I gave myself permission to carefully curate my time outdoors, it became momentous. The colors and sizes and shapes of the turtles became vastly more interesting and appealing once the turtles and my daily walk became the most important part of a Tuesday.

Chores as a Choreographed Choice.

For five decades, I’d considered household chores to be…..well….chores. Something to get through or to designate to the very nice lady who came in twice a month to do the floors and bathrooms. That was fine. But when life shifted and it became easier and even necessary for me to focus on cleaning without a paid assistant, I took the opportunity to carefully curate the experiences. It changed things. It always does. Mopping the hardwood floors with a mellow lemon oil potion left them gleaming and my mood lifted. Organizing the pantry and setting aside cans and boxes to donate to a nearby “Blessing Box” imparted a sense of well -being rather than annoyance. When I took the time to polish the dining room furniture with oil and remember how excited we had been to purchase it second hand thirty five years earlier, as a young married couple, I felt like a bride once more.

Much has been written about mindfulness. I confess that even as I wrote about and encouraged mindfulness as a teacher and life- coach, I had seldom attempted to practice it for extended periods of time. Only when forced, did I gain enough perspective to recognize how much the carefully curated life reveals about the beauty of the ordinary around us and the extraordinary inside us.

Reflection Time

1. When you think of the word “mindfulness” what comes to your mind?
2. Were you ever forced to “slow down” for a period? How did it affect your world view?
3. Which of the ordinary experiences described by the author resonate with you the most?
4. The author uses the word “careful” a great deal in this story. Do you think we are “careless” in our daily lives?
5. Do you feel that you spend enough time outdoors? If not, how can you change that?

Activity: Take 7 Post It notes and write yourself a brief daily reminder of something you wish to do with more care and mindfulness over the next 7 days. You can write the same thing on each note or attempt 7 different things. Put these on your bathroom mirror and take one down each evening as you reflect on your success.